Same Old Song

The sweet insidious dissonant
Symphony of melancholy
Beacons to me
Singing it's siren song
Drawing me in;
I'm powerless–
An addict in it's grasp.
The comfortable abusive
Familiarity of gloom
Drowning out
The jarring cacophony  
Of bright potential new joys.
Terror inundates my soul
When these fleeting chances
Flitter through my head.
Oh, how they promise
Such grand new delights!
I shudder
Cringing away
From these zealous
Quiescent possibilities.
The bitterness of loss
Remembered and enshrined
In the maudlin strains
Of bothersome despondency
Is too strong
Of an impetus,
Resistance is futile,
And though I may yearn
For better
It's easier to play
The same old song.